{"id":257,"date":"2009-04-16T18:51:00","date_gmt":"2009-04-16T22:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/writerfail\/"},"modified":"2013-01-02T01:00:41","modified_gmt":"2013-01-02T06:00:41","slug":"writerfail","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/writerfail\/","title":{"rendered":"#writerfail"},"content":{"rendered":"

As a writer still camped on the canyon rim across from PublishedLand, I\u2019m very lucky to have landed a fabulous agent. A combination of research, timing, and luck managed to part the clouds and let the angels sing for me, and I assume that any writer still looking for an agent would be serious about making the right match. That means researching what they represent, reading their contracted authors, following their blogs, meeting them in person (if at all possible), and then sending in a query, crossing your fingers, and praying for the heavens to open for you, too. Then I heard about #queryfail.<\/span> <\/p>\n

In case you\u2019re u<\/span>naware, last month two brave literary agents, Colleen Lindsay<\/a> and Lauren MacLeod, hosted #queryfail on Twitter. All day long they, and several agents who tweeted separate<\/span>ly, posted snippets from queries they\u2019d received that pretty much guaranteed their authors a \u201cno\u201d response. The stated aim of #queryfail was education. Learn what not to do and improve your chances of success.<\/span> <\/p>\n

The agents conducting #queryfail waxed a bit silly during the discussion. Who wouldn\u2019t? When authors inform you the Almighty ordered them to submit, or that their work amalgamates every trend currently burning up the NYT list into a ghastly literary train wreck, or that Oprah woul<\/span>\"\"<\/a>d love it if she ever got off her high horse to read it, or it\u2019s so good I couldn\u2019t stop writing and now it\u2019s 700,000+ words, you\u2019ve gone on beyond passion. It\u2019s a simple business fact that publishers cannot buy your work, no matter how unique or transcendent or whatever you believe it to be, if that publisher does not sell that kind of book. Period. This appears to be simple logic to me, but then again, when creative passion and logic collide, logic is often left bleeding by the side of the road.<\/span> <\/p>\n

Writers, no surprise, were hurt and angry from hearing the truth. They wanted to hurt back the way they\u2019d been hurt. So<\/span> when Jessica Faust offered to host an #agentfail day on her Bookends<\/a> blog, hundreds of authors took her up on it.<\/span> <\/p>\n

Let me just say, my tent on the canyon rim got much more comfortable after reading some of those posts. Although I\u2019d agree with some of the more reasonable advice\u2014the \u201cno response means no\u201d policy could use a look, if for no other reason than courtesy\u2014I also learned that some writers, frankly, don\u2019t have what it takes to become published. I\u2019m not talking about the quality of the storytelling; I\u2019m talking about the modicum of professional behavior necessary to swim, or even float, in the shark tank of publishing.<\/span> <\/p>\n

An agent\u2019s job is to glean the wheat from the chaff, measure the wheat properly, then find exactly the right bakery to turn that wheat into wholesome, or nourishing, or guilty-but-sinfully-tasty bread. That\u2019s it. They don\u2019t owe authors anything except that they live up to their stated policies regarding submission times. Whet<\/span>her the \u201cI\u2019ll pass\u201d comes on a postcard, a note scribbled in the margins of your query (I\u2019ve gotten one of these), a form rejection, or something personalized, that\u2019s the answer\u2014even if it\u2019s not the answer you want to hear. Agents don\u2019t have to explain why. Have you ever read the back cover copy of a book in a genre you like and decided immediately that it wasn\u2019t going to be your cup of tea? Agents do the same whenever they tackle the next towering batch of unsolicited queries. Unlike we readers and writers, however, they have to do this several hundred times a week on occasion\u2014not including the work they have to do to market their current client list. You think response times are ridiculous now? Imagine how long they would take if every single query, no matter how nutso, required a personal \u201cIt\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me\u201d response carefully crafted to let the author down easily, without any bruising of tender egos.<\/span> <\/p>\n

I have a pretty keen imagination, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around that concept. If you\u2019re a writer who is serious about a career in publishing, you will get criticized. If an agent doesn\u2019t do it, an editor will (assuming your work makes it that far). If your book is published, trust me, some reader will hate it. And probably explain why in dripping, sarcastic detail on Amazon<\/span>. To paraphrase egregiously from Dennis Miller, the publishing world is tough. Wear a cup.<\/span> <\/p>\n

Unfortunately, it seems many writers just don\u2019t understand that concept. If you read some of the anonymous #agentfail comments, you could convince yourself that agents were bloodthirsty, amoral prima donnas who wake up every morning determined to develop new recipes for fricasseed baby author. If you\u2019re in that camp, my question to you is, Why would you want one of those evil harpies repping your work? Yegods.<\/span> <\/p>\n

After reading pretty extensively on agent blogs and writer blogs and publishing blogs (I told you I did my research) on the #queryfail\/#agentfail dynamic, I\u2019ve come to this conclusion. Some writers will never be published simply because they just don\u2019t get it. <\/span><\/span> <\/p>\n

Hurt by a rejection, so you badmouth the rejector, her taste, her a<\/span>gency, and every author she ever bought? #writerfail<\/span> <\/p>\n

Posting vicious personal comments on an<\/span> agent because you didn\u2019t like the form of the rejection she sent? #writerfail<\/span> \"\"<\/a>

Publically questioning in blogs and on email loops the professionalism of an agent or editor because she lacks the vision to understand your unique gift to the world in the form of your current WIP? #writerfail<\/span> <\/p>\n

Criticizing an agent for revealing a personal life beyond the work day in which she keeps up a blog, tweets on Twitter, spends time with her family on vacation, or takes pictures of her dog instead of chaining herself in her office cave to mine for your gem of a manuscript? #writerfail<\/span> <\/p>\n

The point of writing, folks, is to write. You don\u2019t instantly become more of a writer because someone publishes your work. Your knowledge base won\u2019t suddenly increase when you get the call. Your talents won\u2019t blossom into something different. You\u2019ll be the same you, working in the same pajamas, nibbling on the same chocolate. Your outer circumstances change if you get an agent, or the call, but your inner writing life will be just as fraught with doubt and anxiousness and soaring days of wonderfulness as they are now.<\/span><\/p>\n

If your whole writer identity centers on getting published, you can make that happen. There\u2019s fanfiction and internet posting\u2014one site called Publetariat<\/a> looked interesting\u2014and POD and self-publishing that will guarantee you exposure and maybe some readers outside your circle of trusted friends and family. If you\u2019re focused on selling to a professional publishing house, whether electronic or print, get in line. Do your research, submit to the right people, cross your fingers, and pray. The right project needs the right time and the right place, folks. If you\u2019re not doing the work to pinpoint what those are, you can\u2019t rail at the publishing world for thwarting your dreams. At that point, you\u2019re the biggest roadblock you have. #writerfail<\/span> <\/p>\n

Mark Twain said, \u201cWe can secure other people\u2019s approval if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found of securing that.\u201d And he\u2019s exactly right. Your opinion, your love for what you do, is the thing that should bring you joy in this, your chosen art. You are a writer because you write. If nothing else, remember that.<\/span><\/p>\n

Are you still here? The post\u2019s over! Wasting all your writing time infosnacking on the Internet? Classic #writerfail! Get back to your manuscript!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a writer still camped on the canyon rim across from PublishedLand, I\u2019m very lucky to have landed a fabulous agent. A combination of research, timing, and luck managed to part the clouds and let the angels sing for me, and I assume that any writer still looking for an agent would be serious about […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[58,12,16],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p31G3g-49","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1479,"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions\/1479"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mimiwells.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}